
2011年3月14日
A Good Memory That Will Last Forever
On a Saturday morning, a genial sunbeam brightened my hair as well as my black patent leather bag to vividness; I thought it would certainly be a nice day for me. As I was rambling around the railway station to wait for my cousin, I met an old lady, whose hair was a little messy, peddled tissue paper alone the street in a hoarse voice. However, plenty of people passed by the granny, but no one intended to stop. I watched all the comings and goings. Afterward, I stayed beside her; she looked at me appreciatively. After a few talks, I knew that she had lived alone for several years, and she had to support herself even though the painstaking livelihood had tortured her for long. Hence, I decided to buy all the tissue paper her sold, and wanted her to return home for a rest. To my surprise, she smiled broadly at me, and she said that I was such a nice person who was willing to help an old lady. On seeing her satisfaction expressed on her face, I was infatuated in the sparkling smile. At that moment, I realized the essence of unforgettable memory lies in achieving the real happiness of the inner life.
訂閱:
張貼留言 (Atom)
我覺得結論句寫的還不錯~~
回覆刪除我覺得可以多描述幫助人後的心情的是如何
然後為什麼會讓你這麼印象深刻!!!!!
I met an old lady, whose hair was a little messy, peddled tissue paper alone the street in a hoarse voice. 這邊alone應該是along然後peddled是不是應該用ing形式?
回覆刪除I realized the essence of unforgettable memory lies in achieving the real happiness of the inner life.=>lies應該改為過去是
結論句寫的不錯~
恩恩
回覆刪除同上
哇哇冠伶的單字都用得好"advanced"喔XD
回覆刪除單字都要慢慢查吶~~
冠伶真是個好人~~
To 品婷:
回覆刪除whose hair was a little messy是關代,我想用來修飾lady,所以中間這段是可以省略的,至於peddle我用過去式是因為前面有,…我的想法是如果要用peddling,應該要把前面的,去掉…關於其他的意見及更正,很謝謝哦。
To 其他人:
感謝妳們的意見以及感想哦。
我..我我沒辭了欸(汗
回覆刪除--對不起。
回覆刪除--我真的不會改了。
-->"<
喜歡結論句。すきです。
--全買啊,
妳好有錢哦,真的。
To 妤如:(題外話)
回覆刪除才不是有錢,因為她賣的都很便宜…
寫得好棒喔!
回覆刪除挑不出毛病~
好像在看小說阿o_o
回覆刪除我都買口香糖拉:D
冠伶的文章句法都好優美
單字還要看很久..太精深了
是說,謝謝冠伶這麼如此用心的看我的文章
幫我改了好多地方^_^고마워